dear you,

why do you do the things you do? why can’t you express your feelings to the ones you truly care about? what’s up with this complex you have? are you in denial, hiding feelings can’t say the words you wanna say? when you get back into a corner, why do you run away. what exactly are you searching for. you say you’re strong but are you really? strong body. weak mind. only to get more weak each day that passes..you wanna be consoled..you wanna be loved..you want someone to listen to you. so speak up.

signed, me.

(god i should really stop with the rambling.)

WAKE UP.

great video, i think you should take a moment.

so.

i think it’s time i get out of this hiatus type disappearing act i created. i don’t know, i’ve just been completely avoiding this blog for some odd reason. however, i’m back. for how long..only time will tell. for all i know i might write this and the disappear once again for another 4 months.

it be like that sometimes.

Falling in letting go & moving forward.

Am I really gonna do this? Am I gonna let my heart do the talking now? I’m nervous. Really. Nervous.

no title. Just gonna let it all out.

I’ve never met a person who can fight so hard for another’s heart. For some girls that might be a dream come true.

..guess I’m not one of those girls..

Call me blinded, dumb, whatever. At the end of the day..if I feel a certain way..who knows if that’ll ever change. That’s just me.

I wanna be in a relationship. But then again..I’ve become too selfish to be in one at the moment. I just feel like my 100% everything won’t be in it. At all. I don’t wanna hurt anyone for my feeling..but at the end of the day if you’re choosing to continue the war w my heart then YOU have to deal w the consequences.

I told you I was a challenge.

I could be completely rambling on & I hope someone can understand this. I’am not one to get into any type of thing w anyone if I’m gonna half ass it all the way thru. Its not in my nature. So if I chose to not be a part of this battle don’t you think its w reason?

This isn’t about ultimatiums & decision making. You either follow what your heart feels is right. I don’t like being forced. And what I feel right now is unnecessary pressure.

And just because I have the speculated “penis mentality” doesn’t mean that I’m off talking to random guys. Please. Spare me.

And people stop comparing yourself to others bc they’re your “competition” since when did this become such?! Darwinism can really take a toll on lives. But you can’t just compete for a person’s heart because then that person can easily just say fcuk this & bounce.

Sigh I just don’t get it. Off.

FRANKLIN DELANO!

yeah. just like the commercial. these cookies are LOVELY! it’s like nabisco read my stomach. a mix of a girl scout thin mint (fave gs cookie..former gs over here btw yay!) w the oreo filling so many people love to enjoy. ah, i’am in cookie heaven right bout now.

Charley horse..emotional anxiety & a fever..

What an awesome morning I’m having. I guess just the lack of sleep, work, & getting everything together for this trip has really done one on my body.

I just can’t wait to leave on Saturday..82 degree weather the entire week I’m there. I couldn’t ask for more. However, the one thing I care about the most is just getting away&enjoying the time w my family&relaxing. That’s what’s important..

stop me.

ok this song is super old. but i love it so much it never gets old on my playlist

however. this video.

i seriously wish i could understand it more..and it kills me that i can’t grasp the message. either way..song is awesome..

UPDATE: yeah…i think i get it now.

No subject.

*stares at screen* I don’t know where to begin.

I’ve let go..and it took every single power&strength I had to do so. Explain to me why someone would try to shelter&keep what needs to be left where it was.

There are those who believe in second chances and I for one was one of them. But if a person continues to push away..what’s the point? I’ve come to terms w that so I moved.

Now that I’ve moved why is it suddenly cool to pick up what was left in a corner and come back. Call it cliche but maybe it is true..you don’t realize what you had until it slips thru the cracks. Realize it yes, but understand that it is now gone. You can’t get exactly what you had back.

Experiences change people for better or worse. To have the vision that everything will be back to the way it was is the biggest misconception anyone could ever have.

I’ve had it.

It took me time away from EVERYTHING to just understand its not like that. I can’t continue with this fantasy. Fairy tale.

Which is why I’m genuinely happy. Because I’ve finally broke the shackles of the once were. I’m free.

Please don’t try and pick up those pieces from the ground in the hopes I’ll help out. The best way to continue life is by moving forward.

Sigh. Hope that makes sense.

oh the moments lol

the four dolls.